I am having a tough time at work these days and I could bore you to death with minute details all that’s going the ways it’s not supposed to go. But I would rather not re-live my  9 hour work shift on my blog too.  Plus I think I would do what my friend has been promising to do and hasn’t found the time for -tagging! I am not sure how this stuff works, but I gather the general idea is that you write a post and tag fellow bloggers who respond by writing a post on the same topic.  Or something like that.

 Given that I can’t openly rant about how terrible work is these days and I still need to vent, I am going to find my middle path (as suggested by Buddha) - fume about things, behaviours and people at work who drive me up the wall. Here’s my list of “just-cant-stand”.

1.      People who habitually butt in- if it doesn’t concern you, you needn’t know. And if it does pertain to you, we will tell you. If it comes under the purview of your job why won’t we tell you?? Unnecessarily popping up in conversations of other people is fun for you but excruciatingly annoying for others whose conversations have been rudely interrupted. Plus if you have interrupted us once may be you should wait for us to at least move onto the next topic, before you decided to butt in again.

2.      Borrowing- when you borrow stuff from me, I assume you will return it. That’s what one means by the word “borrowing”. Else it is pretty much like informing and stealing. I think its time you gave back my pen, pencil, eraser and money.

3.      Talking loudly on the phone- technology has improved by leaps and bounds. Your voice over the phone is now crystal clear and the man sitting in Kanyakumari can hear you just as well, if you kept your tone down. When you talk loudly on the phone, you are practically shouting in his/her ear. Take pity on the guy and speak softly. If you do that, you’ll be doing all of us a favour too. Also, if you will keep your voice down, we will be spared needless details about how the gas cylinder wasn’t delivered at you place, how your kids fought when they got back from school and what your wife is lovingly cooking for you for dinner. What’s happening at the home front isn’t our business and we like it that way.

4.      Music- music is a fabulous de-stressor. Sadly we don’t share a common taste in music. Or a hearing problem for that matter. Keep it soft so that we are not forced to listen to cacophony. That applies for all the movies and youtube videos you watch too.

5.      Wasting- you work for a corporate and have access to unlimited resources. That doesn’t justify any wastage you do. Paper, electricity, water, tissues, coffee etc are free but the company doesn’t produce them out of thin air. I don’t need to go into a lecture about how we are stripping nature and causing environmental damage. You know it all so the next time may be you should think twice before chucking a perfectly good A4 sheet into the bin.

 6.      Air conditioning- the AC is to make the work environment comfortable. It has not been installed with the aim of re-creating the weather in January in Delhi. Setting the AC at 18 degrees C is insanity. Please dont make us bring sweaters to work, it makes us look weird especially since it is hot outside!

7.      Over-friendliness- this is specifically for all the studs. I don’t know what you friends told you but I would like to help you clear a few misconceptions you carry. Overfriendliness and acting overly familiar with women is not something we appreciate. In fact it is something we detest. So the next time you want to talk, come over ,speak sense and speak normally. Teh put-on accent and style is a turn off ,dude so you better lose it fast.( And while you are at it, may be you can get rid of that swagger too)

8.      Space- This city has no space. Amazingly, the office has lots! Why don’t you use the space that has been allotted to you? I don’t like been greeting by sheaves of your papers lying scattered on my part on the work station.

9.      Newspaper-  if you borrow my newspaper to read, which you do ever so often, please fold it back neatly and return it before the day ends. This ensures that sometime during the day I can read my own paper! This is not a code of conduct in the office, but I am slightly obsessive about the newspaper (and a few other things that I will not mention here). Be nice and do as directed.

10.Beverages- or rather the sorry excuse for beverages that they offer at work. According to me any hot beverage that comes from a machine, tastes terrible. There is little difference between the taste of the tea and coffee! It’s just some hot, brown to dark brown colour liquid that you swallow when its 3 pm and you are dozing off at your desk. Makes me miss the chaiwala bhai who used to make rounds at  the last job.

PS: fyi, all the “you”s mentioned in the post are different people.

Waiting to hear from you -lax, mad man, SL, KN, VV , Smeedha and niti. Whats driving you guys up the wall?