Unearthing treasures

A long time back I used to maintain a personal diary. That was when I lived in the hostel in Delhi and had a couple of strange creatures as roommates. Those who lived outside the room believed they were humans  but those who lived in the room(that basically meant only me) knew better. The diary was my sole saviour back then. I would scribble away at night using the blank pages to rave, rant, crib, pray-essentially pour out my heart.

As inconsistent as I tend to be, I think I maintained that diary for about an year, after which a-I simply got bored of it and b- I got better roomies! And so it got thrown into a large carton along with tens of other books and notebooks at the end of the academic year. And eventually it got carted all the way to Bombay. There it got bundled up with assorted combinations of books and was moved from one loft to another. Space crunch coupled with my adamant desire to hang on to course books I will never ever need, forced me to find “newer” places to stack things up.  

I accidentally unearthed it while rummaging through one of my drawers last evening. I haven’t a clue how it reached the drawer from the loft, but it did. And I am mighty glad it did!  It gave me an hour of absolute joy. Reading it was like reliving my past. In retrospect all the things I had jotted down seemed somewhat trivial. I mean I have genuinely written letters to the Almighty asking for help in locating the correct books/notes in the library. All I can say in my defence is I was 21.There’s a lot of other stuff too but I think I will refrain from publishing it here.

I found this passage scribbled on a piece of paper attached to the diary. Some of the words used aren’t particularly politically correct but I love the essential meaning of the passage. I must have read it somewhere and liked it enough to write it down to preserve it. I think its worth a read.

I asked God

I asked God to take away my pain
God said no.
It is not for me to take away but for you to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said no.
His spirit in whole, his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said no.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations, it isn’t granted it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said no.
I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare the pain.
God said no.
Suffering draws you apart from the  worldly cares and beings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said no.
You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all the things that I may enjoy life.
God said no.
I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked Go to help me love others as much as He loved me.
God said……………Ahh, at last you have the idea.

18 thoughts on “Unearthing treasures

  1. Wow Mandy, Reliving the past is one of my favorite pastimes. I still have my school time ‘personal’ and ‘secret’ diary, and letters from my friends. THey are a treasure. And the Poem is simply beautiful, have not read it anywhere on the net. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. Mandira, I am glad that you had an enjoyable time reliving the past through your diary.:)

    As for the passage- it is certainly very moving and thoughtprovoking, too.

  3. Beautiful ….very beautiful poem 🙂 Makes us look things from a different perspective 🙂 Nice.

    Unearthing treasure indeed, huh? I still love going through all my old school books and clothes that my mom has very carefully preserved. I always thank her for that! Its such a treasure indeed 🙂

  4. Mandira…that was beautiful. The happiness thing kinda touched a nerve. I think I complain to God too much without actually thanking Him for my blessings. Thanks for putting this up. About the diary part…never had one 😦 I just started an online diary you the blocked blog thingie….sorta like a diary with a lock 🙂 Am not too regular but I guess it will make a interesting read after some time.

  5. allo
    nice it is….
    and yeah i used to always write for a year then tear it up..:D silly me..
    the few occasions i didnt, its been absolutely wonderful travelling back in time…

  6. Lovely words.
    Loved the story of finding an old diary in the drawer. Don’t you think our diaries were the blogs of the days before blogging?
    When we read our old rants they often appear trivial but they were very real when they were happening… These words must have been so comforting.

  7. @manpreet-oh u too store such things?i thot i was the only one..
    @manju- oh yeah.. i loved retriving my past!
    @SnS- you mom saved up stuff for u?so sweet!
    @HC- we all need to develop gratitude i guess..keep that online diary going…its a good thing, i tell ya!
    @smeedha- tear it up??silly girl!
    @IHM- yeah surely… but i think we arent always as honest with our personal n secret diaries
    @nishchal- will read that soon…
    @dipali- i think so too!

  8. @GDS-i did remember its existence..but dint remember where i had stashed it away..start your diary now!
    @N- i just knew u;d be asking for scoops…lol.. i wud hv been surprised if u hadnt!
    @manasa-thats great… do u ever go back to old pages and read again?
    @lakshmi-oh ok…u aint getting no scoops madam!:P

  9. so im still waiting for u to mail me some excerpts from your diary 😀 like i didnt disappoint u by NOT asking for the scoops, u dont disappoint me by NOT sharing.

  10. Unearthing diaries can be a fun thing…but didn’t this unearthing actually teach you something that you may have forgotten? I have been thinking for the last one year – the answers lie within each one of us, it depends on whether we ask the right questions 🙂 This post gives a peek into a different aspect of your personality, enjoyed it…may be there is an element of identification that each one of us felt as we read it 🙂

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