Honestly speaking

On a scale of 10, tell me how honesty do you think the average person is? How often do you think people will chose the right thing to do over the wrong but beneficial thing? Take for example the case of a businessman who has to choose between palming off old groceries that he has lying around and sending fresh goods in a home delivery order. Or the young executive who finds it very hard to resist making an inflated travel voucher- a little extra money to party with or may be save up for the girl friend’s gift.  Or the lady who wants to get on the good side of her mother in law and has the option of resorting to spinning untrue  stories about her sister in law to get there. What do you think these people usually do? Listen to their conscience, if indeed they do have one, or do what they think meets their immediate purpose? More money, a better life style, social standing, a good  impression on people in positions of power- how do people weigh all this against honesty?

Being honest all the time is hard, I wont denying that. As wonderful a value as it is, it doesn’t seem to pay much. Not immediately at least. I mean look around. How many people do you know who are dreadfully honest in their personal, professional and social lives and are materially prosperous too? Not too many. I can count a few- it’s a small number, not a very impressive. But I am very happy that I can count at least a few. How many people do you see who are either entirely dishonest or moderate how honest they are depending on how desperately they want something seem to be getting the better of life. The painfully honest person at work is often the one who works the hardest and doesn’t always get the highest increments. Those who smooth talk and butter up the boss, say the right thing at the right time, get promotions and increments on with shocking frequency. They may be a pain as colleagues and may perform at sub-optimal level at work, but merely on the basis of skills other than those they were hired for, they get ahead of others.

How hard is it to be lured to ditch honestly for short term benefits? From what I see and hear, very. So is honestly a value of the past? One that doesn’t work too well in the future? One that needs to be replaced by a newer kind of “value”? A “value” that says it’s ok to be dishonesty as long as it gets you where you want to be.  I hope to God not.

25 thoughts on “Honestly speaking

  1. The way I look at it, you can be completely honest and still succeed. Yes, there might be times when other, less honest people might get away but 3 think honesty will matter in the long run. It is importatnt to be honest and assertive. To be honest and have the courage to stand up for oneself, when required.. I feel Narayana Murthy of Infosys is one such honest person who has succeeded in life!

    so its honestly plus patience? will have to work ont he patience seriosuly now..i think i score ok on the assertive scale.

  2. I am one of those people who are honest about their work. I do not butter the boss, I do not chill during office hours and then work late at night just to show the boss that I am working late, I don’t like coming in on Sundays unless it is a do or die situation.
    ditto,ditto!!

    Boss earlier thought I wasn’t performing well and my increments & projects weren’t as great as that of the others. I asked him to give e once chance to prove myself since he had never worked with me which he did and liked my work and called it ‘exemplary’.

    So yeah honesty does take time, but it pays off. he knows he can get an honest opinion from me – I don’t butter and ‘diplomacy’ is not really part of my dictionary (which is a good thing and a bad thing)

    its takes a LOT of time i think!!!but wat other option is open to us? nothing really..cant stand dishonesty..so will have to learn to live with slow paying honesty!

  3. apt queries..honesty a value of the past? …

    Today i feel if i tell i am dishonest, i will not be looked down…if today somebody is honest, he is treated as a fool…

    i think there are very few ppl who are honest..so if you are honest u look odd!!

    a recent event my friend experienced..Income tax officer told, you pay the money for completing assessment…client told, i am honest and have paid the tax in full…IT officer told, did i ask you to be honest, you pay the money and take the assessment….
    omg. thats a disgusting experiences!!
    another example, shopkeeper asks if u want a bill then sales tax extra …if you think you are honest and say i want a bill..actually you are a fool…becasue the shop keeper is going to pay the govt what he feels that would save him from harassment.

    haan..thats pretty common..

  4. I can not be dishonest. I have suffered due to my honesty, but I do not think I would have done things differently.

    thats good.but doesnt it make u wonder why dishonest ppl get so much more than u?makes me wonder often enuf…nt that i have any easy answers to it…but i still wonder..

  5. I’m honest and hard working – it hasn’t given me much in terms of increments, raises. But, it has given me a good night’s sleep and the ability to look at myself without any shame in the mirror everyday.

    thats there.. but sometimes u wonder why all the dishonest people are prospering!! donno how many of them genuinely sufer from insomnia…they seem to adjust with their dishonesty quite well…

    Do I want things different? Sure, I wish I could lie or manipulate things with ease sometimes – but, that’s not me and I can’t do it… so the struggle is there – but, the end results have been much more satisfying…
    point well taken.

  6. mandy, i have nominated ur Watch It post at Indyeah’s for the LOL challenge

    😀 😀 😀
    o.m.g. crafty thats not such a great post..really!!! and u nominated it! u have sooo much faith in me girl!!:D 😀
    with me, u already a winner mandy!!!! 😀

    awwwwwwwwww
    *practically dies awwwing*

  7. its true n sad….but honesty is overrated at times i feel…no need to lie, but can keep stating what is true in certain situations…or am i mixing honesty with blabbermouth-ism??

    no u arent… i get wat u are saying…avoiding stating certain facts can soemtimes save u a lot of trouble.. but i dont know if its the absolutely correct thing to do…

    i don’t agree to buttering up seniors etc….that is just plain lame..

    eggzactly!! but look around… have u seen the no.of people who do that!?

    honest ppl are like that not just coz its right but also that it’s just who they are.
    yeah,totally.. they cudnt be any other way..

    honesty as a value can never be altered…just less followed , i guess! 🙂
    hmmm…

  8. Hmm…I’ll be honest with you, I’m not honest all the time. Like when I needed a new meter for my ac, because it was SO HOT in Calcutta, and I was like dying, I paid 200 bucks to this guy from the electric supply office to speed up the process. But apart from things like these I’m mostly honest, and I think most other people are too.

    hmmm… may be sometimes we want something so badly that it compels us to be dishonest…may be if its a small thing n so we shudnt really worry so much about being absolutely honest… or may be we shud worry about being dreadfully honest in all situations.. i dont quite know the answer to that..

  9. u know, this post of urs was running in my mind and i realised..there one type of dishonesty i really despise….giving someone a fake compliment!! sheesh…

    i’ve actually know ppl who go, “ooh, that’s a new top…looks really nice” and once the chick has turned n left, they say “that top is sooooo common, and that colour looked awful on her…”

    !!!!!!!!!!

    to give dishonest compliments and then mock….sad sad sad……

    ya, i have seen people do that.. havent figured out why…if u dnt like wat someone’s wearing keep quiet…its not like anyone is asking for ur opinion anyway!!

  10. 🙂

    i think honesty and dimplomacy have their own place! and being diplomatic and knowing to say the right thing at the right time doesn’t make one dishonest!

    that said, since i am not very good at it, i shut up when i dont have something complimentary to say! 🙂

    and i can safely say I am a honest person!

    as for jacking up the claims, i think everyone does it to an extent and the one who doesnt screws it up for all! :p

    or conisder this. you get an allowance of 2000 as transport above you sal, but its a part of your CTC. you dont spend 2k, but you will claim it, innit?!

    thats different from making fake vouchers and claiming more than you shud from the company!! for eg. if i get a certain travel allounce for when i travel on work, i claim it….even if i miss it out, the accounts guy makes corections in my travel sheet and hands it to me…. n thats fine because the compnay pays me for sending me out on work..i may at times spend more than my allounce, but then that goes from my pocket.. however if i went on a short trip around the city and claim money for a 1st class ticket when i in fact traveled on second class, thats just dishonest!!

    so people who travel scrimp on their daily bhatta, make bills and make that extra cash! i wish i had one of these jobs! 😀

    but selling old stuff, now thats pure dishonesty!

    cheers!

    diplomacy n hishonesty are two different things… i am not mixing them up.. im actually talking of people who are dishonest in the true sense.. n though diplomacy has its value, and i know it has great value in certain situations, i sometimes feel ppl hide thier dishonesty in the garb of diplomacy….

  11. Honesty sometimes sucks bigtime!
    Am I honest?reasonably so..much more than should be expected in today’s times..

    but yeah I am all for diplomacy rather than brutal truth …I mean I dont lie but neither am I honest 😀

    which is a tricky situation to be in coz it’s like walking on a damn thin line…

    plus after having seen dad and his honesty and how people toook advantage I am determined not to repeat some mistakes…

    see thats my dillema too.. i subcsribe to honesty..i believe its the right thing to do… but i dont see too many ppl either being appreciated for it or gaining many benefits from it….
    though*sigh*old habits are hard to break…

    and I have no idea why I am rambling 😀

    coz I can’t lie but I sure as hell can turn the conversation to other topics so that I dont have to tell the truth 😀

    lol.. a good trick i must say!

  12. Mandu, I don’t know if there can be one single answer. For most times I stick to being honest. I believe in being honest most times in real and virtual life but you know at times we need to play tactics to get to the bottom of things. Also, at times when you know that your honesty is going to hurt someone personally and nothing good is going to come out of it then it is okay to sugar-coat. I am someone who is very bad at sugar-coat but even then I have learned to.

    im ok with sugar coating for the sake of not hurting others..n may be even getting to the bottom of things with a few tricks…

    Still for most times I believe being honest gives me better sleep.

    yes yes.. i just wished it paid more!! or is good sleep payment enuf?

    Now honestly I tell you…gimme CALVIN. 😆

    and because you asked so honesty, i think i will give him to you.. pl note im still thinking…n i havent made a full n final decision yet!!

  13. Quite a thought provoking post…

    Honestly speaking, honesty is not a vitrue you can define in an honest manner… 🙂

    On a bit serious note, honesty is a bit subjective matter, and hence it should not be judged in isolation…

    Two examples of dishonesty:
    A kid is bullied at school, but comes home and lies about it so that his parents are not worried.

    The scam that happened at Satyam.

    Both are examples of dishonesty, but what differs is the underlying intention or motive of lying. So, according to me, that is more relevant.

    very valid point there. the intention is always imp…its tell you why people are doing what they are doing..when i was referring to dishonest people i was referring to the kind who are genuinely dishonest and are that way either because they dont care that they harm others or are disgustingly selfish or entirely conscience-less.. those are the people who shock me…n when i see them doing well in life i cant help but wonder how thats possible…shudnt the good guys be getting the good stuff in the world?

    • I firmly believe that at the end of one’s life, the ‘debits’ and ‘credits’ always tally. So even if dishonest people are doing well in a short term, long term or even longer term, before they see God, things are levelled…

  14. I think all of us normal folks are inherently honest….though the degrees may vary. For example I think nothing of watching movies online. My husband hates that habit of mine…according to him I am supporting piracy 🙂 This is a teeny tiny example but in my opinion honesty is better in the long run. But I’ve seen people who are way dishonest prosper and prosper 😦

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