This marriage turned one in November. An achievement that deserved a post. A post that was written and the promptly lost (irretrievably) somewhere in the new WordPress system. I wish to make a note of this milestone and thats the only reason I am back at my desk.
The past year was a roller coaster ride for me. It involved moving in and moving out of homes (two to be precise), coping with cultural and value-based differences, meeting unexpected challenges at the work place, trying to develop new and unstable personal relations and what not. If I were to describe the year in short, I’d call it the Year of Settling In. I am not entirely sure I have settled in completely yet, but compared to November 2013, I can safely say I am doing well. 🙂
The year was a mixed bag. It brought with it moments of happiness and sorrow, frustrations and achievements. It also taught me some important life lessons. Those are rather personal and I would like to keep them off the blog. The learning continues – as I see it, the path ahead is long.
Here are the highlights of the year:-
- Setting up our own place. Rented but still. It a simple, no-frills accommodation that comes with a balcony where you can sit out and watch the tall trees. I have a line of potted plants that is my contribution to enhance the greenery around. The house meets our needs perfectly and we have cooperative neighbours who regularly bring us special dishes to eat, keep our letters and tell us when the maid is not going to show up for work. We are fed-up of the recurrent seepage problems, but honestly that is the only major drawbacks of the place.
- Finding common interests and pursuing them. We’ve discovered birding and we both enjoy it equally. The pictures we take aren’t outstanding that’s mainly because we can’t afford cameras that cost over two lakh rupees. I personally find bird watching exciting and educational and I am even willing to wake up early for it.
- Travelling together. The more you travel, the better. Sharing this simple philosophy we’ve managed four trips ( one to the south and three to the north) in the year. Work travel was additional. We would have liked to get out more often, but we need to keep our jobs (to fund the travel). New places, new people, new food, new experiences. All good.
- Saving up! From distinctly independent people we gradually inched towards the “joint” lifestyles. We’ve (after a bit of a struggle) got the joint bit of the financials in order too. A good move, I think. Money multiplies faster when two people work at a goal. It’s also one of the ways in which we build trust in each other.
- Acquiring worldly objects, some big, some small, that has made our lives comfortable.
- Rediscovering cooking. If you lived alone (as I did) or lived with a large family (as he did) there isn’t much reason to cook. In the first case you can survive with anda-toast/ sabzi-roti and in the later there will be enough people happy to cook for you. When you live together, you need to cook because after a point eating out is not an option. It gets expensive and only helps you pile on the kilos while being malnourished. Both are avoidable outcomes. Old cookbooks have been dusted and brought into use. My cooking continues to be simple (nothing beyond 5 steps) but the results are getting consistently better. He believes he can cook but that usually doesn’t go beyond tea, eggs and toast and pasta.
- Establishing relations hasn’t been easy. I am told is never is. Its been a partly-bumpy ride, but its getting smoother. Because it was extremely smooth with my parents, the benchmark is high, and I feel that’s a part of the problem.
- Getting accustomed to different communication styles, religious beliefs, family traditions and accepting the differences and moving beyond them was a challenge. Some of the issues continue, but fortunately with reduced intensity.
- From leading a quiet, single life to being amidst a large number of people with frequently socializing with friends and family was a big change. The one I haven’t yet mastered.
- Moving from a fit and energetic person to a borderline over-weight, the one thing I didn’t want marriage to bring me, it brought! Corrective action has been initiated in this area and I shall hopefully have something positive to report on that soon.
Fingers crossed, the next year shall make the list of The Good longer and The not-so-good shall shrink to half.